I’ve been busy working for the company, learning and trying fundamentally important subjects. Learning new things, often with so little resources, without a personal assistance or a dedicated mentor, I’m humbled and grateful that my working environment does not simply consume my talent, but rather trains me to become more knowledgeable and pragmatically skillful.

Initially, my team was focused on iPhone development, following the latest craze, but unfortunately due to lack of preparation, the project is now canceled. It’s hard to ignore the importance of knowing exactly what to do before trying anything.

Currently, I’m actively leading an open source project, in the category of ECMS, using the famous Alfresco. For now, only I can do is utilizing it with addition of Korean language, but I hope sometime sooner my team and I can commit some meaningful contribution to the source.

Tried to blog, saved some drafts with the interesting ideas, but being not so confident enough to write without full knowledge about the subjects, prevented me from publishing. Maybe I am being too careful, or being simply procrastinating. Well, in a good way, Twitter being the useful micro blogging can be the understandable excuse.

As I got used to the professional work environment and pace, I think now I can find the time to blog more regularly, possibly at least once a week. What I strive to get is to be efficient in managing time economically for working for other and myself.

Though it has been too busy and difficult to make time for myself, I am glad that my professional experience has been enriching, meaningful enough to share with others.

Melted Ice Cream from DisplayFakeFoods

For many days, I had been seriously considering to register a domain for my web development. Finally, after many days of speculation, I had come up with almost perfect domain name. It was about two weeks ago. At the time, registration for one year was priced about $7.99. However, because of my personal reason, I hesitated to obtain it thinking there might be better options. I was wrong. And now it costs about $59.99 for one year.

I couldn’t understand what happened to me. The price that I saw about two weeks ago was sale price and I didn’t know well about the price difference in registering .at, an Austrian domain. In other words, I wasn’t fully informed about domain pricing and business. I can’t help but still thinking what if I didn’t hesitate to register the domain at the moment of conceiving the domain name.

Another lesson I learned is about the danger of procrastination. My hosting company sent me an email about its affiliate program offering $10 for putting the banner linked to its website. Not reading the details of the email, I thought about doing it a few days later. But the email offer was valid only for 3 days. Noticing how easy it was like notifying the hosting company that I put the banner in my website, I was embarrassed to ignore the value of $10 which can be used for supporting my hosting charges. Lost the easy money.

Here I would like to stress the reasons why hesitation or procrastination is ALWAYS BAD:

It happens because one is not informed enough.

Due to having narrow viewpoint or stereotypical idea, one cannot act even though the decision to do it needs to be made as soon as possible to progress the task.

It cannot be replaced by better activities.

To be honest, I cannot confidently say I always did something better or meaningful things while in the state of hesitation of procrastination.

You cannot expect the future.

Accidents happen and the remaining time becomes so much shorter than anticipated.Often it’s caused by other factors, but blaming them is not the right excuse for lack of preparing for accidents.

It leads to abandoning the initial plan.

Unless I had the strong need and will to obtain the domain name before it was too late, I would’ve abandoned my plan for developing a web service. It frightens me how shameful and regretful it could be.

It is not a good thing to talk about.

Almost nobody wants to hear about the reasons or excuses for hesitation or procrastination state. The professionals working together will definitely think negatively about the one who is mindlessly talking about what he or she could do if he or she had enough time but didn’t.

Does anyone think differently? What’s differences between hesitation and procrastination? What are your experiences? Can anyone likes to suggest links?

Picture: "Keep Thinking" from thinkinTub

Examining myself very closely, my recent difficulty in blogging is not because I am a total recluse who doesn’t like to share with anyone about anything. Or I can make it worse by labeling myself as a lazy person, but it’s not actually true considering what’s going on in my mind. I do have some topics in mind, but somehow it’s just not as easy to share them with the public as I thought it would. It seems to be a methodical, or a situational problem which I must learn to deal with using the solutions from the experienced bloggers and developers. There are what I suspect to be reasons or excuses for my lack of blogging.

Preoccupied in doing a project. But it’s not ready to be opened and shared yet.

• Because I want to keep it as a secret.
• Still the project in the conceptualizing phase which is still too abstract even to myself.
• Waiting for internal and external encouragement on this, to solidify confidence in the project.

I guess this waiting is the major cause preventing me from actual progression. Also, without opening the minimum information about the project, how can I expect to learn anything from the experienced developers whom I can meet and interact through blogging? I must learn to present and communicate well with the experienced developers.

I am not tuned to the current events.

• Not because I intentionally ignore them, but simply I just want to distinguish facts from opinions and it’s taking some time.
• Due to my lack of professional insight, what I can blog about current events is only the repetition of what’s already there with a little bit of my simple thoughts. It’s not a real contribution in my measure.

To gain more professional and unique insight, it would take a lot of reading and speculating, challenging me to build and re-build knowledge basis. This task must be taken quite seriously and I need find the right way to do it.

I need to have more reading and watching to expand my knowledge and imaginations, which cannot be limited in web browsing.

• Embarrassingly, I began to understand the need to have more various activities including something entirely different from or even against one’s field of study, in my case it’s Computer Science.
• Narrowed perspective, intentionally or unintentionally gained prevent one from developing and sharing his or her experiences or thoughts with others.

I am thinking about having more knowledge in film making, English learning, Bible study, social servitude, and unknown other possibilities. The additional solution is to meet more people from various interests. Though I don’t neglect the value of socializing, it’s been hard for me to be more proactive.

Not utilizing the notes in my journal.

• As a proof for not being lazy, I’ve been keeping journals. However, almost none of the notes are used in blogging. Because of excessive filtering not to jeopardize my private notes, my record keeping has contributed so little for my blogging.
• But most of all, I think it’s lack of confidence in my notes that prevented me to review them more carefully to find the value.

The worst thing that I found while writing this blog, blogging infrequency is the consequence of not following the plan as it is scheduled. Procrastination is the worst kind of enemy for developers and bloggers like myself. It’s not only about unable to do something, but also about taking away the opportunity to do something else, possibly better and more important thing.

And I must free myself from fear of not becoming a responsible contributor. Accepting my current status of being a student of life and knowledge without any set date for graduation, must not be ashamed of utilizing the resources from others especially the open information and I must understand that mature blogging experience require so many trials and error.

In conclusion, not only for my blogging but also for other activities, I must embrace beauty of making mistakes and learning from these valuable experiences.

UPDATE(2009/08/04 16:31) Found a good article related to this blogging problem. [CopyBlogger] The Most Horrible Blog Post Ever